Goodbye Freshman Year

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I've been torn my whole first year in college about whether or not I was staying or going. Now that we are three weeks till the end, the decision to stay has been made. There are better universities out there, academically and athletically. There are more diverse universities out there. There are more universities that are a better match and suited to what I wanted out of college. However here I am, staying.

What I realize now that I didn't before was that no matter where you go, college is a transition. I can’t ever say I was homesick, I wasn't, I relished the freedom. The freedom though, and “college” just didn't live up to the grandeur I had envisioned. I got so caught up at looking at my friends at these grand football heavy SEC schools, and friends who left the Midwest for more interesting horizons of LA and NYC that I felt mediocre. I felt as if I was supposed to love where I was, and love it a lot. That a moment of clarity, an AHA moment of “yes this is the place, this is where I am supposed to be” would occur, and it never did. Reflecting now on my time over the last 9 months, and reflecting on life in general, I think you choose every day to decide that wherever you are in life is the right place for you.

This isn't to say you shouldn't have dreams, goals, and aspirations about where you want to be, but to never let where you want to be and the life you want to live hinder you from just enjoying and making the best of the life you have. Sometimes you have to accept the hand you are given, and just play it out till the next round.

Everyone said it to me before I got here, and reiterated it even more now that I am here: “college is the best years of your life”, “you’ll look back at these years and want them back”, “college will change you.” When I really think about this I find all of these statements to be less about college, and more about being young, growing up, and transitioning. There’s a reason people love these years, cause everything’s novel. You are old enough to make your own choices and understand them, unlike being a child. Yet still young enough to get away with excuses of ‘young and dumb’ sans all the responsibilities of adulthood.  College matters because our late teens and early twenties matter, they are a transitional period we just happen to spend (the majority of us) in higher learning.